Teacher Suspended for Teaching History — Pharrell Williams Chastized for Wearing Indian Headdress — Is There Anything Still Okay in America?

Ted Danson was kicking it blackface before kicking it blackface was cool.
Ted Danson was kicking it blackface before kicking it blackface was cool.

So, a history teacher in Michigan noticed that the concept of “blackface” seems to cause a lot of racial controversy in our world today.  Every time a white actress or actor uses what used to be a standard practice in their art, they are accused or racism.  To try to explain to kids what the idea behind this is, this teacher showed a video about the history of acting that showed that actors actually used the concept of “blackface” to play African American characters in plays and early movies.  The school suspended him without pay while they investigate this horrible act of racism.

Meanwhile, legendary music producer and artist Pharrell Williams donned a Native American headdress for an unusual photograph on the cover of this month’s Elle magazine.  Native Americans are outraged, saying that he is making a mockery of a sacred tradition in the Indian culture.

Our question:  Is there anything in America that is not completely offensive acts of racism anymore?  Is it possible for any person to make it through just one day in America without being accused of outright bigotry, no matter what they are doing?

We can’t have sports teams named Redskins or Indians because it’s offensive.  Pharrell wears an Indian headdress and someone is pissed off.  Gwen Stefani dresses up like an Indian in a music video (which millions of children do for Halloween and just playing in their yards all the time) and there is outrage.  Avril Lavigne has a couple of Asian models in her video…you guessed it…outrage.

If you criticize the President of the United States, you must be a racist.  This applies regardless of whether you criticized other presidents.  If you criticize this one and you are white, then you are racist.  If you don’t believe me, just try it.  If you are a Christian, you are anti-gay by default.  If you believe women have a right to choose whether to have an abortion, you are a baby killer.  If you wear a fur coat in public, you’ll have PETA breathing down your neck.  If you say a prayer in public, an atheist’s head explodes.

Even black people are offending other races now.
Even black people are offending other races now.

Is it possible to not offend anyone in America at any given time?  Is there anything you can do that is not considered an act of racism or bigotry?  What about bodily functions?  Is taking a s**t offensive in some way?  Should we all stop using the bathroom?  I’m sure someone has an issue with it.  Should we all stop eating meat because we are offending the vegans?

The answer to the question is simple.  Yes there is something that is wholly not offensive to anyone in America.  You can say whatever you want about these two groups and no one will raise a ruckus.  No one will be dismayed.  No one will accuse you of anything.

White people and Christians of all races.  Oh yeah, and child molesters.  We can all agree that child molesters are still bad, and we don’t have to mince words when we talk about them.  Who would have thought that white people, Christians, and child molesters would all have something in common?  They are all the last groups in America that can be freely talked about as much as you like because for some reason or another, it’s okay to pick on them.  And only one of those three groups deserves it.  But hey, that’s just the way it is, right?

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