Honey Boo Boo Escapes Car Crash Alive — Illuminati Plot or Are We Just Insane?

We didn’t want to do it.

But after today’s events, there’s no choice.  We pride ourselves on trying to perform a service to our readers, and today, something happened that brought a most unusual search topic and email lightning rod to light.

Honey Boo Boo and company were in a car crash.

Nothing happened.  They are fine, and are apparently currently celebrating “Pumpkin” (or is that “Punkin” or who really knows, right?)’s 14th birthday without incident.  And yet, this made major news.  More importantly, we are receiving the most dreaded question of all.

Did the Illuminati try to kill Honey Boo Boo?  And what is her connection to the Illuminati in the first place?

Yes, they went there.  Yes, we felt like we had to reply.

No, it seems rather unlikely that the Illuminati, if they should exist, tried to murder Honey Boo Boo Paul Walker-style.  However, it is surprising how many people believe that the Illuminati’s reach even goes as far as this blight on the American population.  The videos below reveal some of the sinister allegations being brought against one Miss Honey Boo Boo.

Reality:  They had a car crash.  Why do we care?

This isn’t the Illuminati.  We are dumb enough to let this infiltrate our thoughts on our own.  The Illuminati has no need for Honey Boo Boo in this case.  The damage is already done.

Your thoughts?

Wait! It gets better… elite pedophiles run the world.
I knew it!

If you are one of the people that actually came here by searching for “Honey Boo Boo Illuminati,” seek help.
If not, then what exactly are you doing here?