John Kerry Says Internet Makes It Harder to Govern — Good!

At a speaking engagement at an embassy in Brazil, our Secretary of State John Kerry made this comment:

“Well, folks…Ever since the end of the Cold War, forces have been unleashed that were tampered down for centuries by dictators, and that was complicated further by this little thing called the internet and the ability of people everywhere to communicate instantaneously and to have more information coming at them in one day than most people can process in months or a year.”

This little thing called the Internet makes it much harder to govern.”

This is the guy that actually managed to lose to George W. Bush... Let's put him in charge of something important!
This is the guy that actually managed to lose to George W. Bush… Let’s put him in charge of something important!

So, let’s take this, toss it around, and see if we can make salad out of it.  What do you say?  In non-political-bullshit terms, John Kerry said something more like this:

Gosh, these people actually are able to find out what is going on around them.  We are not able to spoon-feed them our version of events through the mainstream media like we could twenty-five years ago.  We aren’t able to stifle those that want to call us out on our real agenda.  We can’t stand the fact that anyone at anytime can fact-check us and reveal the truth, or at least something close to it, without our permission.”

Oh, yes, Mr. Kerry.  The Internet is a thorn in the side of the government.  They will figure out a way to conquer it, we have no doubt.  There are many strategies already in place to do just that over time.  However, we just want to let Mr. Kerry know that if this causes him and his NSA cronies thirty seconds of consternation, then GOOD!

It is harder to govern a people when they know what you are really up to.  Every day, more people are becoming enlightened (sorry to scare any of our Illuminati fans with that terminology, but it’s still the right word).  More people are waking up from the mainstream media slumber and questioning things that they previously held as self-evident truths.  The word of the government is mud these days, especially after all of this domestic spying that has even the most stalwart defenders of the current administration wondering what the hell they signed up for.

The bottom line:  we find comments like this offensive.  Yes it’s tucked away in a bunch of politically-correct nonsense to escape any culpability in the public arena.  Yes, it wasn’t even really meant for the general public, but just a bunch of government officials locked away in a room in Brazil forced to listen to a blowhard like Kerry and do a little bureaucratic a*$-kissing before lunch.  Gotta get that next promotion, right?  And finally, yes, his comments are actually pertinent in and of themselves.  Think about it; we are able to discuss his commentary because of the very “little Internet” he is preaching against.

The Internet really is the government’s worst enemy.  But it is highly offensive to the administrators of Common Sense Conspiracy for John Kerry to imply that people having information at their disposal is a problem.  It’s not a problem.  It’s a Godsend.  Every day we hear politicians talk about education, education, education.  Well, the Internet is allowing people to be more educated on all sorts of issues, and without having to plunk down thousands to a university that ultimately serves the same powers John Kerry is describing.

So, when John Kerry says the word “govern,” just always remember that he really means “control.”  The words have totally different meanings in the dictionary, but to our government, they may as well be synonyms.