Okay, we made a funny. Actually, no one has reported that either of the accused Boston bombers had ice cream before they executed their well-planned attacks (followed by an inversely unplanned getaway attempt). Of course, no one has reported that they didn’t, either.
This article’s title is to bring to light the absurdity of the mainstream media’s reporting now that the dust has settled, the suspect is in custody, and all of a sudden, the overreaching for every little story imaginable begins. For the record, people say all the time that conspiracy theorists are “reaching” and that they “went too far.” Well, how’s this for reaching:
1. A recent report that was circulating on the AP indicated that Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, who in case you didn’t know is one of the two suspects the government has fingered in the bombings, once attended a Christian ministry. Amazing to think that he would have done something like that whilst blending in perfectly in a predominantly Christian country. Why even bring this up? Did he meet at the Christian ministry in order to plan the bombings? Did the Christians help him while he was there? Did he hear them talking about Jesus and he got so mad he ran out and decided to be “radicalized?” No, the story simply says “Golly-geez-wow… the boy went to a Christian ministry.”
2. There was a whole report in the mainstream media recently about the boy playing sports with the other kids and his love for soccer. What does it all mean? He loved soccer? You don’t say? No one in the world loves soccer, or football for, oh gee, the rest of the damn world. Only in America does football mean a bunch of guys lining up with pads and hitting each other. So, if other citizens like soccer, should we automatically think that they might be planning terror operations? Thank goodness the mainstream media is here to give us such meaningful information.
3. The kid’s relatives all say he was framed by a corrupt government scandal. Or maybe they just looked at the photographs and saw a couple of kids they thought they could call Muslim. If the shoe fits, right? Just once, we would like to see the relatives, a neighbor, a classmate, something, say “I just knew he was capable of unimaginable evil! I always knew he was a natural born killer! Any minute, I was expecting the chainsaw to come ripping through my door and…” No, it’s always the same thing. He was a nice, peaceful boy. Liked to go to a party now and again. Meant well. Gave to charity. Always picks up trash on the side of the road.
4. You think websites like us are reaching. Yahoo published an article about a lady in the Boston marathon who was appalled by how close she was to the suspects in a photograph from earlier in the day. Never mind that everyone who ran in the race up to that point was equidistant. What’s more, she had a similar experience on 9/11… reaching? Not at all. If we posted that mumbo jumbo nonsense here, we would be impeached.
5. The suspect now in custody returned to school and “acted like nothing happened.” Now, there’s a story. It’s meant to enrage you. I mean, how could this guy do what he did and just go back to school like nothing happened? The ridiculousness is this: whatever the kid did would be equally taken out of context now, seeing as we know he is the Boston bomber. Think about it. The kid comes back and acts like nothing happened. PUBLIC: He has ice water in his veins. Cold-blooded damn killer. Now, imagine he comes to school, especially distraught for the victims. PUBLIC: Killer showed too much emotion over American’s deaths…obviously overdramatizing his feelings. Last one… Killer came back to school and had some ice cream on a park bench. PUBLIC: He making his blood even colder by eating that freezing ice cream.
So, what’s the point of all of our rambling? Simple. If you want to throw stones at conspiracy websites and theorists for questioning the official accounts of things, especially when they make as little sense as this particular caper, just remember that the cat’s milk you are lapping up every day of your life from the mainstream media is about as farfetched as anything you will see here.
And only one of us is actually making a good faith effort to report the news. Can you guess which one it is?