Category Archives: Silly and Offbeat Conspiracies

Theater of the Absurd — White House Responds to Outlandish Conspiracy Theory Involving President Obama and Mars

Really...we knew it all along...

When eventual President of the United States Barack Obama was a much younger lad, some conspiracy theorists think that he had a healthy fascination with the planet Mars and space exploration as a whole.  In fact, some of his colleagues actually say that he visited the planet twice between 1981 and 1983.

Say what?  Yeah, that’s what we said.  Remarkably, there is actually a conspiracy theory that President Barack Obama has visited the planet Mars twice already in his younger days.  This is listed as a primary reason that he quelched NASA’s plans to return to the moon in favor of going further in manned space exploration — to the Red Planet.  Who came up with this one?  Two people that claim to have firsthand knowledge that our sitting president walked on Mars.

Two former government employees have come forward with information surrounding this outlandish theory.  Andrew D. Basiago and William Stillings are “chrononauts,” according to, well, themselves.  What’s a chrononaut, you say?  Good question.  They are time travelers.  Get it?  Chrononaut…chronology…

Enter DARPA.  This is the United States organization relegated to keeping the defense of the United States updates as technology advances.  In the 1970’s and 1980’s, according to Basiago and Stillings, there was a hugely successful time-travel project that allowed them to warp to Mars.  It was so prolific that the United States actually built and maintained bases on the Red Planet.  And one young, daring recruit named Barack Obama visited Mars not once but twice.  Back then, he went by the name “Barry Soetero.”  Another headache for the birth certificate searchers.

Basiago and Stillings both say that they ran into Barack Obama at secret United States installations on Mars between 1981 and 1983.  Basiago even hung out with Obama in the “jump room” as they were teleported to Mars.

“We’re here,” Basiago claims Obama said to him as they arrived at their destination.

Why were they there, you ask?  To acclimate with the life that was already there of course.  Really, that’s what Basiago said.

The White House has denied allegations that President Obama has traveled to Mars or was ever part of such a program.  But they would, wouldn’t they?  <cue the scary music>

As we like to do, we’ll let the audience decide…
[polldaddy poll=5862112]

Katy Perry’s Mom Says Tim Tebow Is The Man For Her Daughter

The ink barely had time to dry on Katy Perry’s divorce papers before her mother wasted no time in declaring Tim Tebow to be the man for her daughter. Now if you don’t know by now, Perry got her start as a christian singer. She has since become a pop star while her parents seem to be tolerating her actions. They didn’t really approve of Russell Brand. Perry’s mother has tried to get Tebow and Perry to meet each other. She has went as far as to invite Tebow to speak at her church in Ohio and have him and Katy “bumpp into each other”.

Tim Tebow’s Newest Title — Homewrecker?

Questionable timing?

Tim Tebow is known for a lot of things.  He has an uncanny way of finding a way to win games despite lackluster performances (unless he’s playing New England and Tom Brady), and of course, he is known for his praying pose that he so often strikes on the sidelines that has kicked off an international phenomenon of “Tebowing.”  And Tim Tebow and the Christian faith are synonymous, but here lately, a new buzz is going around the internet.  Could Tim Tebow be a <gasp> homewrecker?

Here’s the facts.  Tebow has been linked to two women in the last month.  The first was Lindsay Vonn, Olympic skier.  The second is none other than Katy Perry, international pop star.  What do Lindsay and Katy have in common, besides Tim?  That’s right.  They both just ended their marriages.  Lindsay’s marriage to Thomas Vonn, a fellow alpine skier, ended with much speculation that there was another man behind the scenes.  Then, a few chance happenings had the media and internet buzzing that Tim Tebow, of all people, was the man behind the curtain.  Both sides denied these accusations.  Lindsay Vonn says that she is a friend of the Tebow family and that their relationship is purely platonic.

Now, Katy Perry and Russell Brand are divorcing after just over a year of marriage.  And just days after the heavily covered break-up, what do we hear in the news?  Katy Perry’s parents

Did Tebow break these guys up? If Brand wants a fight, my money's on Tim.

have invited none other than Tim Tebow to speak at the family’s church.  Furthermore, Katy’s mother is rumored to be all over the prospect of Tim and Katy getting together, no doubt in some vain hope that Tebow can reel the wild child back in to her Christian roots.  It has been reported that Katy has expressed a desire to meet Tim on more than one occasion, although it falls under one of our favorites:  the anonymous source.

Now, there’s your dose of what is being said out on the proverbial internet streets.  Now, let’s analyze things a little further.  While plenty of sites are eager to try to pin the Katy Perry-Russell Brand divorce on Tim Tebow, the reality is that Katy and Tim have never met.  While it is interesting that a possible meeting may be on the horizon, it certainly does not provide any evidence of any homewrecking.  However, maybe Tim needs to look at his image and how things are perceived and find a way to stop showing up at the (depends on how you look at it) right or wrong time.  In the meantime, could a whirlwind romance between the Denver Broncos famous quarterback and Katy Perry be in the works?  For the sake of Tim’s virginity pact, let’s hope not.

Hugo Chavez — U.S. Induced My Cancer

Leave it to Hugo Chavez to make another wild claim against the United States. He claims that the U.S. not only gave him cancer but gave many other South American leaders cancer as well. He also recalls a statement made to him by Fidel Castro. Castro told him to watch what he eats and don’t use misplaced needles because the U.S. and the CIA has developed the technology to induce cancer.

North Koreans Say There was a Magical Glow in the Sky the Day Kim Jong-Il Died

Kim Jong Il visits his birthplace.

That’s right, folks, for those of you who don’t understand the way North Korea’s hero worship for their fallen leader works, sources now say that a strong snowstorm paused and the sky glowed red above Mount Paektu just before the death of Kim Jong Il. Furthermore, volcanic Lake Chon had its ice crack violently. In the city of Hamhung, a Manchurian crane circled a statue of Kim’s father, Kim Il Sung, and then drooped its head before taking off.
These legends correspond with similar ones related to Kim Jong Il’s birth. He was supposedly born on Mount Paektu, and the rumor is that a double rainbow sprang across the sky when he came into the world.
Must have been a helluva guy, huh?