Yes, we know. We tout ourselves as filtering through the bullshit…but every once in a while, we stumble upon something that is so absurd that we feel like you need to know about it just so you won’t be caught by surprise if it comes up in conversation or your travels on the Internet. Yes, it’s true that some of our conspiracy site friends are reporting on this insane story about an alien implant in the back of President Obama’s head that is somehow connected to an Egyptian Pharoah that had the same problem. This is the kind of garbage that borders on absolutely ridiculous, but you would be surprised how many people are looking for this. For one thing, notice the horrible quality of the video, including the numerous frames where very common words are misspelled that an average first grader would get right on the first try.
A Swedish man was trapped in his car after being snowed in for two months. He reportedly survived on only a little snow and is believed to have entered a type of hibernation. He was discovered in very bad shape. But now rumors are circulating that he may have had some sustenance. He may have had small amounts of food or even ointments and creams that may have given him a few precious calories. He also is rumored to have lived in his car for 6 months and he lived in the forest as a loner.
The Chang’e-2 Orbiter launched by the Chinese has supposedly found bases on the moon. It is also rumored that NASA has bombed the moon to destroy these bases and other structures. We will have to wait and see if China releases this information. As of now this is all rumors so take it with a grain of salt.
We all have used winning the lottery as a way of revealing almost impossible odds in ordinary conversation. Well, if you’re in the state of Georgia, you might have to say “I got a better chance of winning the lottery three times.” That’s right, a producer for CNN (warning bells sound) recently became the third person to win in the Georgia Lottery this year. And we’re only three months in. It’s not a new trend, either. Tandi Reddick, the spokeswoman for the Georgia Lottery revealed 15 separate instances of repeat lottery winners in its’ history.
CNN producer Jennifer Hauser picked up a scratch-off ticket called “50X The Money.” She won a million bucks. This was only a couple of months after she won $100,000 playing another lottery game, “Georgia Lottery Black.” The odds of winning a sizable amount in any lottery game is pretty slim, but the odds of someone winning twice in less than a year’s time is unthinkable. The odds would have to get into astronomical terms. And yet, Ms. Hauser is actually the third person to pull this off in 2012.
As you might imagine, the uncanny events happening in the Georgia Lottery have started plenty of conspiracy theories. It also has inspired residents to buy more tickets. On the week of February 11, the Georgia Lottery recorded the best sales week in its’ history, with more than $101.2 million.
This video compiles many sound bites from presidents and government officials where they made some unfortunate word and phrasing choices. No conspiracies here, really. Even these guys are humans and misspeak from time to time (or if you’re talking about George W. Bush, all the time). However, it is definitely entertaining and worth taking a few minutes to get a good laugh at the expense of some real, live douchebags showing their true colors.
There are so many ironic things about this story that we almost can’t keep track of it all. First of all, a man was whisked away by paramedics when he suffered a heart attack while dining at the aptly-named “Heart Attack Grill” in Las Vegas. He was choking down a “triple-bypass burger” at the time that he started to experience sweats and shaking. The Heart Attack Grill unabashedly offers some of the most nutritionally-unsound menu options on the planet, and the entire menu measures its’ items with medical terms related to heart attacks. The restaurant prides itself on its non-healthy stature, even making the offer on a marquee sign that anyone over 350 pounds in weight eats free. The “triple-bypass burger” is a huge offering with three beef patties that would easily be considered a large hamburger individually. The triple is not the top dog here… there is a “quad-bypass burger” that sports four patties. Of course, the patties are slathered in mayonnaise, cheese, and can be topped with a variety of unsavory options, like bacon.
To make things even more interesting, people seemed to take the moment as a true spectacle, with photos being Tweeted of this man’s misfortune, along with the video below of the chaotic scene as the man was rushed to the hospital.
The good news… the man, who is not being identified, survived the incident and is recovering from his heart attack. No word on what his status would be if he had opted for the “quadruple-bypass.”
Is Tim Tebow strong enough to be this woman’s man? Sweet little Jamie Walden, an airwoman serving the United States military in Shreveport, Louisiana wants to find out. She makes this “Awwww…”-inspiring video plea to Tim Tebow to accompany her to the Military Ball. Looks like the stakes have been upped, Miss Perry. Oh, Tim, just say YES…