Category Archives: Silly and Offbeat Conspiracies

The Lighter Side: Funny Quotes from Government Officials

This video compiles many sound bites from presidents and government officials where they made some unfortunate word and phrasing choices.  No conspiracies here, really.  Even these guys are humans and misspeak from time to time (or if you’re talking about George W. Bush, all the time).  However, it is definitely entertaining and worth taking a few minutes to get a good laugh at the expense of some real, live douchebags showing their true colors.

Man Suffers Heart Attack While Dining at the Heart Attack Grill

There are so many ironic things about this story that we almost can’t keep track of it all.  First of all, a man was whisked away by paramedics when he suffered a heart attack while dining at the aptly-named “Heart Attack Grill” in Las Vegas.  He was choking down a “triple-bypass burger” at the time that he started to experience sweats and shaking.  The Heart Attack Grill unabashedly offers some of the most nutritionally-unsound menu options on the planet, and the entire menu measures its’ items with medical terms related to heart attacks.  The restaurant prides itself on its non-healthy stature, even making the offer on a marquee sign that anyone over 350 pounds in weight eats free.  The “triple-bypass burger” is a huge offering with three beef patties that would easily be considered a large hamburger individually.  The triple is not the top dog here… there is a “quad-bypass burger” that sports four patties.  Of course, the patties are slathered in mayonnaise, cheese, and can be topped with a variety of unsavory options, like bacon.

To make things even more interesting, people seemed to take the moment as a true spectacle, with photos being Tweeted of this man’s misfortune, along with the video below of the chaotic scene as the man was rushed to the hospital.

The good news… the man, who is not being identified, survived the incident and is recovering from his heart attack.  No word on what his status would be if he had opted for the “quadruple-bypass.”

Watch out Katy — Soldier Asks Tim Tebow to Military Ball on YouTube

Is Tim Tebow strong enough to be this woman’s man? Sweet little Jamie Walden, an airwoman serving the United States military in Shreveport, Louisiana wants to find out. She makes this “Awwww…”-inspiring video plea to Tim Tebow to accompany her to the Military Ball. Looks like the stakes have been upped, Miss Perry. Oh, Tim, just say YES…

British Woman Predicts Future Via Asparagus

We here at Common Sense Conspiracy would like to call a patented BULLSHIT ALERT!! This woman claims to be a Asparamancer, one who predicts the future via asparagus. She has claimed several accurate predictions in the past. She goes on to make a few predictions for 2012. So don’t just run down to your local asparamancer for your future. We at CSC are calling BULLSHIT!!!

Teen Arrested for Farting in Mississippi

Drop the bomb -- do the time.

Where Harold Wayne Hadley, Jr., comes from, farting is dropping a “bomb.”  The nineteen-year-old passed some serious gas int he library at a Mississippi junior college, and decided to commemorate the fact by scrawling on a piece of toilet paper that he “passed a bomb in the library.”  Someone entered the bathroom he had been in and found it, passed it on to a teacher, and then a terrible series of events followed that found young Hadley, Jr. in a jail cell.

The teacher apparently was able to recognize Hadley’s handwriting and immediately contacted authorities.  This led to eleven emergency agencies responding to the school on a supposed bomb threat.  Hadley was quickly apprehended and booked into jail where he was held on a $20,000 bail.  If prosecutors charge him with threatening to blow up the school, he could face penalties as high as ten years in prison and a $10,000 fine.

Now, that’s one hell of a gas bill.

Freemasons Worship Lucifer

This fits in our silly and offbeat category because both sides of the video are outrageously ridiculous.  First of all, there is no proof that this man is a Freemason, except the fact that he carries a funny hat.  And throw in the fact that he seems like he barely understands what is being asked of him.  These are the kind of videos that give conspiracy theorists the world over a bad name.  These guys put this kind of garbage up as “proof” of something, when in fact it proves absolutely nothing except this old man is at least half off his rocker.  The fact that the interviewer would feel that this was some type of damning evidence that must be shared with the world puts this firmly under Common Sense Conspiracy’s patented Bullshit Alert.  See for yourself…