Japan Bans Tattoos For Government Employees

Don't worry about tattoos. Worry about this!

The mayor of Japan’s second largest city, Osaka, has banned tattoos for local government employees. Toru Hashimoto has issued the ban and even imposed forced body inspections to enforce the ban. This has caused a rise in tattoo removal. The new law is aimed at cracking down on members of the Yakuza, whose members wear tattoos as a badge of honor. The Yakuza is basically the Japanese mafia. The fear is that the ban will spread to Tokyo. The mayor of Tokyo, Shintaro Ishihara is a big admirer of Toru Hashimoto. There is just one problem — are you fu#king kidding me? Sorry kids.

Is this the only thing to worry about in Japan? Have they already forgot about a little thing called, oh I don’t know, FUKUSHIMA! The nuclear disaster is a huge problem for the citizens of Japan. But what is the government worried about? TATTOOS!!!!! Of all the things, tattoos. So, apparently the Yakuza has taken over everything. The only way to combat the Yakuza, make them remove their tattoos. That will do it. I bet the government is thinking, “We will show them. Make them take off those damn tattoos and they will crumble”. Really? That is your grand plan?

Maybe we should take a page out of their book. We can stop all drug abuse. All we have to do is, um, ban them from meeting at alleys. Yeah. If we take away there meeting place, they will crumble. That is probably what everybody is thinking. This way of thinking is the dumbest thing we have ever heard.  Can somebody in Japan please come to their senses?

If you are a survivor of Fukushima, don’t worry. The Yakuza will be brought down by a ban on tattoos, for your safety. Remember, its all for you. Because Fukushima is important, wink wink.

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